Jason worked late last night so this morning he slept in, so I did too. Which really isn't abnormal. I like sleeping in and the girls are really good to let me most days. But today, I was in a bad mood when I got up. After Jason left I got to work cleaning. Sometimes cleaning helps me get my grove back. I picked up the house, worked on laundry, did the dishes, vacuumed, swept and mopped...all the fun stuff. I gave the girls a bath, but my bad mood was getting worse and I just kept yelling at them for everything. Tessa splashed. Jordyn took Tessa's toy. Jordyn splashed. Tessa's toy got thrown out so Jordyn got out to get it. I was mad, and acting like a fool. Do you ever have those moments where you're yelling at your kids and the entire time you're thinking, "Stop it you crazy mother. You're acting like an idiot."???
I sent my sister a text to see if she wanted to do something. We decided on lunch, but because we're on the "Dave Ramsey Plan" we don't have money to go out to lunch so I got my birthday money out. Jordyn picked Los Hermanos because she wanted a free "special drink" and we have shirts. On the way to be seated I tripped on a rug. We sat down and ordered a drink for Jordyn and Tessa to share and a Diet Coke for me. (Diet Coke makes me feel better - most of the time.) When the Waiter came back to take our orders I wanted something off the lunch menu, but he said that you can't order from the lunch menu to get the free drink, so I had to cancel the drink. (I didn't have $12.00+ to get something off the dinner menu.) I felt so bad. Jordyn was crying and crying. Then the pregnant mother, who was in a terrible mood already, started crying and crying too. I just hate when I can't give the girls what they want. I hate when they cry about things, especially when I can tell it's a "real" cry. Not one of those "I want that and I'm going to throw a huge fit until you give it to me" cries. ((Around our house those kind of cries don't get you anything except for a trip to timeout.))
This baby is making me emotional - or something. I'm tired. I have very short patience. I get annoyed, at little things...like toothpaste in the sink or sippy cups on the floor. I want to be a good mom. I want my girls to have fun, make fun memories, and be happy. I want them to learn about being kind to others and working hard, not complaining and sharing. But really, how can they....if the example they see in me doesn't do any of those things some days???
On a happy note - We find out Friday if this little baby is a boy or a girl. SUPER EXCITING! My vote? Girl. (Used to be boy, but I changed my mind last week.)
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6 comments:
O my sara. I love this post. I feel the same way but i'm not prego. You just have those days. Its true a coke makes you feel better. Why do we think this. I'm excited for you guys to find out! Hope its a boy ;) Hope you have a great rest of the week!
As i read this i thought i was reading a story about myself! haha. I'm glad someone else is in the same boat as me :) Thanks for sharing. I understand it's hard to be prego cuz i'm there too, and i have days like this all the time... I think your a wonderful mother!
Every mom has days like this... I have mine after I have a baby :). My suggestion is to get outside. Take a walk or go to the park. Clear your head and let your kids play. It seems to work for me. I hope tomorrow is better :).
Sara, the unknown comment is me, Melissa Lee. I changed my e-mail, melissa.familee@gmail.com.
Yea!! I'm SO happy your having a boy! Super exciting!!
I have to think that we all have these kind of days and that we have to just do the best we can. Hope it gets better for you. I find that mine days are worse when I get little or too much sleep. Excited for you to have a little boy!
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