Monday, May 23, 2011

Life As We Know It

It's good to be home. It's good to do housework and clean up messes and feel so tired at the end of the day. It's good to see the girls play and cry and eat and fight and sleep. They are mine and they are healthy and happy...and that makes me happy.Jordyn is doing so great. She is pretty much back to her old self. Well, except for the constant whining. It's driving me crazy. I guess that's what happens when you get everything your heart desires for 8 days and then....things go back to the way they were. Poor kid. This lego cow has my girls utter-ly confused. Get it? Utter. Ha! They keep asking me what the pink part is...and Tessa keeps telling me to take it off.I started watching Julie's kids again today. I can't believe how much they have changed in just a few weeks. Heber is talking so much. Houston is rolling over. It's crazy! And look...Heber and Tessa almost look like they like each other, which is totally not true. These two fight like crazy.Houston is so big...I wish I would have taken a picture of him awake.Want to know what we watch ALL DAY? Can you guess?Heber is the best kid ever to put in time out. He doesn't even move a muscle. Today he was singing or something. It was so funny!Tonight we had family home evening. Shocking, I know! Jordyn loved it...Tessa just wanted me to read a book to her. It really is so nice to be home and back to "normal." In the crazy, stressful moments I'm trying hard to remind myself that this is the only place I want to be.

This is the movie we watched tonight. It's so cute. I'm so grateful for my beautiful little girls, for my knowledge that we are all children of a Heavenly Father who loves us, and for Jason...because he pushed me to be better every day.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Understanding Trials

Last Wednesday (May 11th) as I watched Jordyn leave in a helicopter my heart was breaking. I wondered how long it would take us to get to her. I wondered how sick she really was. I wondered how much money all of this was going to cost. I wondered if she was scared, if she would remember anything, how soon she would get better. Mostly, I wondered why I wasn't as scared as I thought I should be. I was nervous and worried and anxious...but I was also calm somehow. It was overwhelming, this feeling of comfort. I knew everything was going to be okay.

Each day in the hospital was full of a million different emotions. Sometimes I was mad, and sometimes I took that anger out on Jason. I cried. I was tired. I wanted to take Jordyn's place. Here she is with one of the doctors.

After 5 nights in the PICU we finally got moved to the CMU (Children's Medical Unit). The entire day I was smiling. Jason and I went to grab dinner and I was so happy. It was a great big step in the right direction. We knew the end was near. It was a nice feeling. And yet, I often thought about all of those kids in the hospital who didn't know when they were leaving. I felt so lucky, and again, I felt that comforting peace.Time flew. Jordyn started feeling so much better. Daddy surprised her with new jammies.Jordyn had visitors. Her friend, Ryann, came up. Jordyn loved it!And finally she got to see Tessa. They were so cute together. I was happy watching them play and tease each other. And then today, they let us come home.I love this picture. She looks so happy, and healthy.We only had a "baby car seat" in the car...which she is too big for, but it worked out great. Driving away from that place was awesome!I'm not exactly sure why our little family had to experience all of this. I know that we've grown and changed and learned new things about ourselves. I fell more in love with Jason. He was calm and strong. He comforted me in the hard times and kept me from exploding more than once. I learned more about myself. I felt a deeper love and appreciation for motherhood. I'm not sure what I would do without my beautiful little girls. My testimony grew. I have never felt so much peace, comfort, and love. I mean, I knew that the Savior loved me...and my family, but I didn't know how much. Maybe I still don't. I just know that trials help us grow. They bring us closer together. They push us to be better people...more compassionate, more grateful, more understanding, more kind, more humble. Everyday we change. Trials help us become the people that our Heavenly Father needs us to be.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

A Few Pictures

I've been wanting to post some of the pictures from this wild adventure. I'm sitting her with Jordyn, it's 11:00pm, and she sound asleep. Jason went home to be with Tessa tonight. This is the first night I've been alone at the hospital. It's a little strange and scary. The last few days has been crazy. Every time I update someone I usually start with, "What day is today, Saturday? Is it Saturday." It's strange to feel totally out of it.

Here's Jordyn when we first got to American Fork. Her oxygen levels dropped so quickly that they ended up flying her up to Primary Children's around 10:30. That was the hardest thing I think I've done so far as a my baby fly away in a helicopter while I was left on the ground, with an hour drive.At Primary Children's we ended up in the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit). Jordyn has been a trooper. She has been pocked and moved a million times and she is still so brave.

During all of the crazy times with Jordyn we still had our sweet Miss Tessa with a crazy life of her own. Thursday she got her cast. Jason said it was fun taking her. And by fun I think he meant "fun" which really isn't fun at all. Plus, Friday she went to the doctor and he told us she had pneumonia like symptoms. He started her on the same stuff as Jordyn and so far she is doing great.Today Jordyn improved a ton. She was a little bit clingy today. She wanted me to sit with her a lot, and hold her hand. She kept asking if she could eat. But, she stayed on a regular mask all day and it was awesome.Now, tonight, they changed her to a nasal cannula and she is doing super. They say she is looking awesome. Now we're doing Albuteral treatments every 2 hours and when she can make it to every 4 hours they will let her leave the PICU and move to a regular room.

I can tell you that the only way I've made it though all of this is with the love and support of everyone who knows us. We've been so blessed and felt so loved. Jordyn is one lucky little girl to have so many people praying for her. Jason and I also feel very lucky. It's incredible. Really. So, I won't ever be able to say this enough, but THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of our friends and family members who have helped us in the tough time.

Friday, May 13, 2011

As Time Goes On

This hospital stuff is hard. I wonder how parents who have to do this all of the time actually survive. We've met a few different people, who have much more difficult trials than we do. Puts things into perspective. We are blessed. We have the Gospel. We have felt so much love and support in this hard time.

Jordyn is doing about the same. We have good moments and bad. She had a feeding tube put in her nose today. They had to put her to sleep to do it. She is using a CPAP mask right now. Before she had a BiPAP mask. They doctor said they worked differently, but one is not better than the other. She was using a regular mask for awhile today but it just seems like after a few hours she can't get the oxygen that she needs. From what I understand the BiPAP/CPAP makes help push air in and also pull it out. She need this because Pneumonia makes it hard to breath in and the Asthma makes it hard to breath out. We're just taking it all one day at a time.

It's night now: I wrote all of that other stuff this afternoon. It's about 10:30. Things are still the same with Jordyn. She's been sleeping a lot more today but they keep telling us she's looking really good.

I'm tired. It's hard to see her like this. It's hard to feel helpless. It's hard to see Jason feeling stressed and helpless. We're just plugging along. I keep asking people what day it is. We've only been here for 2 nights (and then tonight) and it seems like it has been forever. Right now they say we're looking at Wednesday to go home. Wednesday. Seems like forever.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Sick Miss Jordyn

Here is a email that Jason sent....

Dear Family

As some of you might have heard, we've had an eventful few days. Last week Sara came down with pneumonia and Tessa broke her arm. Both are now doing fine.

Jordyn also got sick last Thursday. She was seeming better over the weekend and we even all went to church. On Tuesday, Sara noticed that Jordyn was kind of taking a turn for the worst. We watched her Tuesday night and I just felt that she wasn't doing good. Sara took her to see the Dr on Wednesday afternoon. The dr checked her oxygen level and it was at 72 which is very low, so he had her admitted to the hospital. The Dr & Nurses thought that she was doing fairly well, but it appeared that she had some pneumonia and they said that she would probably be in the hospital for a few days. Then last night at around 8:00 she really took a turn for the worse very quickly (less than 5 minutes) and was maxing out the hospital's oxygen at 15 and was on a rebreather bag. She came back out of it slightly where her oxygen was back down at level 5, but the on call Dr didn't want to have her on max capacity and decided to send her to a hospital that could handle it if she got worse again. So Jordyn was life flighted to Primary Children's Medical. Sara and I couldn't ride with her, but the life flight nurse called and said that she did really well. Here at PCMC they put her on a breathing machine and she is doing well.

Talking to the Dr & PA today they said that looking at her xray she could have either a viral or bacterial pneumonia, but it also appears that she has reactive airway which could turn into asthma. (They usually don't diagnose asthma in kids until the age 5). Today she is doing well, watching Minnie Mouse and taking all this in stride.

Just wanted you all to know and would appreciate your prayers for our little girl.

Love you all


It's Thursday now, and we're still in the PICU. Jordyn seems to be holding up okay for the time being. They are probably going to put a feeding tub in, which I'm TOTALLY freaking out about, but trying not to show it. This is hard for me. Watching her go through this. It's super hard to see her sad, little tears running down her cheaks. I'm just not cut out for this...

Happy thoughts and prayers. We need them. She needs them. I need them.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Mother's Day And Stuff

Jason had young men's tonight so it was just me and the girls. Jordyn always asks to watch a movie on nights when Jason isn't here. Actually, she always wants to watch a movie. Tonight it was Aristocats. About 25 minutes in they were both asleep.
Mother's Day was really nice. Jason and the girls picked out this planter for me. We spent most of the afternoon at Jason's parents house where Jason and Terry made a great dinner. It was fun and relaxing.

Of coarse the flowers are purple (Tessa's favorite color). I'm a sucker for flowers. I love them! Jason has been working hard in our yard. We were able to order a bunch of flowers from Spring Hill Nursery this year. I can't wait to post pictures of our yard later on this summer. Anyway, last year we wanted to plant some Raspberry plants. We picked the spot and started composting. We put everything in the pile. Food, old plants, was gross. Here's our finished project...

After awhile Jason noticed we were getting weeds. We didn't understand it. Nothing had been growing here. Plus we had this red mulch bark stuff. He was pulling them out all of the time. I even helped a little, but they kept growing and growing. Turns out they are sunflowers. When we had pulled out all of the dead stuff from the front yard last year we piled it up and that included our sunflower stalks. The seeds dropped and now we have this....

The spring is turning out great, you know, besides the broken arms, fevers, coughing, and pneumonia. I'm loving all the work Jason is doing in the yard. (HA!) I'm excited to feel well enough to get out there with him. We have high hopes and big plans for all of the projects we want to finish this year. My biggest one: a finished (with grass) back yard.

Friday, May 6, 2011

This Lovely Week

Monday Jason got off to work a little late and I got out of bed a little late. I didn't shower before Julie brought the boys over. BIG MISTAKE! If I don't shower before they come...I don't shower. So, I was in my bathrobe all day. (Yeah, the smart person inside of me would have at least put on some sweats and a bra.) The day was long and horrible with naughty little girls who didn't listen to their Mama all day. Plus I wasn't feeling well. So, I called Jason to come home early. I begged and he did, even though it totally messed up his work schedule. That night I went and got some wheat grass - hoping to kick my cold in the butt. ((Didn't work!!))

Tuesday I was feeling a little worse, but we made it to dance and preschool. (I even showered before Julie dropped off the boys.) The day was better, except Jason wasn't feeling well at all. He stayed home from work and went to the doctor. He had a sinus infection. In the afternoon we went to Jake's baseball game. It was SO cold. The wind was blowing like crazy. After the game Jason went to scouts and I got the girls in bed. That night I was not doing well, but didn't think much of it.

Wednesday morning I could barely move myself from my bed to the couch. At 10:30 the girls kept telling me they were hungry so I got down a box of Capri Suns and a package of fish crackers. That's all they had until my sister, Julie, picked them up around 12:30. Around 1:30 I called Jason at work and once again begged him to come home. He took me to the doctor and dun da da dun PNEUMONIA. What the? I felt like crap so I spent the rest of the day/evening sleeping on the couch. At around 7:00 (I think) I woke up to Tessa screaming hysterically and Jason saying something about her arm being broken. Then I asked him to hand me my strawberry lemonade from Sonic and I spilled it ALL OVER the carpet. It was a huge mess. He was gone to the Urgent Care for a long time. My sister, Leslie, came over and cleaned my carpet and my house. Jason came back with my little baby all bandaged up and the news that she broke her (left) arm right above her wrist.

Thursday was pretty uneventful. Oh wait. No it wasn't. Jordyn woke up in a terrible mood. She was crying a lot and whining. It was annoying. It was her fake birthday at preschool so Jason took her to Wal-Mart to pick out treats. (She has a summer birthday.) They came back and I could tell he was "done" with her. After a while she started to complain about being cold all over. We checked and she had a fever of 100.4. Poor kid. She was devastated. So we called Miss Heidi. She talked to Jordyn and made her feel much better. Later that night Jordyn's fever was up to 102.2 and she barfed in the tub when I was attempting to give her a bath. (Jason was gone to round table and Tessa was with Nonie.) By this time we were wondering what else would go wrong.

Friday (today) was pretty normal. I am feeling about 68.3% better. Jordyn slept til 10:30 and she seems to be doing fine. Tessa doesn't complain much about her arm. Jason, besides coughing a ton, seems better too. We - and by we I mean Jason - planted a bunch of flowers and plants in the yard. He went and took his CPA test this morning. And I watch about 6 episodes of GLEE. Then it happened, that one more thing, which really isn't that big of a deal, but very traumatic for little girls. Jordyn fell into the fence and got about 15 slivers. So, we sat on the lawn for 15 minutes telling stories and playing games while Jason dug them out.

That's it. It's enough I think.

video translation (Tessa's words only):
"Hi Tessa!" - "I feel down."
"hmmm." (This roughly translated means yes...she says it all the time."
"Slide." - "hmmm." - "Doctor." - "hmmm."
"Put a bandaid on me." - "hmmm."
"Scooby Doo." - "Yeah, Snoopy." - "Purple."
"hmmm." - "Hi Mama." - "Yeah." - "Yeah."

It made me laugh at the end when I told her to blow me a kiss she tries to with her broken arm, but can't so she switches. Silly girl. Love her! Love the other. Love him!