Over the last few days I've been thinking about how to write about some of the things going on at our house these last few weeks. Life has been crazy. So, I'll start with me. I get nervous sharing "personal" stuff on my blog. I mean, who will read it? What will they think? Am I dumb for sharing? Should I share less/more? ((blah blah blah)) I guess I'm sharing all of this because this is my journal, someday I may want to remember it all...or not.
Last August we got back on the baby making train. After a few months I went to the doctor for a chat. She put me on Clomid. I never had a problem getting pregnant before, but thought it might help get the ball rolling. Long story short, I didn't get pregnant. Instead, starting in February I had a period that lasted almost 7 weeks. I went back to the doctor. At the end of my appointment she told me that my weight, my history of miscarriages, and the excessive bleeding were all precursors to Uterine Cancer. Now if that isn't enough to freak someone out I don't know what is. The worst part was that she didn't tell me it could be something else. She only left me with that one option. It was scary. I ended up calling the nurse after two days to talk about what else it could be. She was nice and reassuring.
A few weeks later I went back for an Ultrasound. By this time the bleeding had stopped, but the Ultrasound showed a large cyst on my left ovary. They took a bunch of blood for some cancer screening. I guess the test result is in number form from 0 to 36 (36 being really bad) and my level was only a 3. The doctor said that's really good. So, I'm going back in a couple more weeks for another ultrasound to see if there have been any changes. Just more waiting. I'm not feeling very nervous any more. I'm a super planner and not having a plan is kind of bugging me. As for having more babies, right now it's on hold until August again. At least. (We can not have a baby during tax season.)
And now, as if this post wasn't long enough, I wanted to share what has been going on with my sweet Miss Tessa. Last weekend Tessa woke up with a major limp. She was crying about her leg and so I took her over to the after hours clinic that very morning. At the appointment the doctor checked her out and said it was her left knee. He said it was a little inflamed and that we would do some lab work to find out if she had an infection. He was also testing her for rheumatoid arthritis, he said. (This was another little freak out moment for me, but lately I've been feeling that something is a little off with Tessa.)
On Monday we got the results back that she did have some kind of virus. She also tested negative for the arthritis. The doctor who saw her Saturday morning, well his nurse, called me on Tuesday to see how she was doing. I explained that I was told she had a virus, but didn't know what it was. I also shared my concerns about Tessa and wondered if I should be one of "those mothers" who pushes more tests onto their little baby girl because they think something might be wrong. She was super nice. She told me that the text showed that Tessa has Bursitis. It has something to do with inflammation in the joints. They told me that the arthritis test can sometimes give a false negative if there is a virus in the system. (This only concerns me because my Grandma had RA.) So, I'm keeping a close eye on her, keeping a list of concerns, and taking her back in a week for a re-check...possible redo the labs or something.
Here's my list so far: Tessa wakes up 4 to 8 per night. This is not a joke or an exaggeration. She cries a lot...to be held, because she wants something, because she hurts. She always wants two pillows when she sleeps, or to be propped up on the couch. If she's sitting in a booster and you try to push her up to the table she cries that it hurts, even though she's not touching the table. She holds her wrists or knees or ankles when she watches TV. If you touch her wrong she says it hurts. She would rather sit on a chair outside and watch the kids play without her. She is a completely different person when I give her Ibuprofen.
There it is. But really, things are good. I know it could be worse. I'm grateful that in everything I've felt peace. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and my family and He watches over us. I know He guides us. I know that things will work out the way they are supposed to.
Any advice? Suggestions? Comments?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
Ugh, I'm so so sorry! That is so rough not knowing what's wrong and how bad it really is. I hope that you get some definite answers about all of you soon! Hang in there, and hooray for tax season being over!
I am so sorry things are not going well. :-( As for Tessa I would follow your instinct. I really believe in mothers intuition. I hope she feels better soon and that you are blessed with another baby. Maybe this delay in having a baby gives you the chance to focus on Tessa and find out if there is something wrong and fix it. You are in our prayers.
I am so sorry you guys are having some health scares right now. That causes so much stress. I hope you guys get everything figured out soon and that Tessa can feel better and be able to play and have fun with all the other kids!
Sorry to hear things have been so hard and trying. We will keep you in our prayers. There is nothing worse to me than when my little ones feel bad and are sick and there is little to nothing I can do. I hope everything turns out and that you and the doctors will be inspired to find answers and comfort!
I'm sorry my friend!!! That's really weird about Tessa. hope she's ok. And that REALLY sucks about the cyst thing. I've had the same thing and they did a whole byopsy (is that how you spell that?) and just freaked me out over and over for nothing. So I hope it turns out to be nothing for you too!!!
Oh I wish I would've seen this before the Easter Party. I am sorry for your trials. I really hope that the cyst is nothing too serious and that it can be remedied quickly. I am also sorry to hear that Tessa has Bursitis. How does Tessa do with a bath or a warm compress? I know for me (with my bad shoulder) when it's cold outside it hurts more because I tense up. And I think its great when people aren't afraid to get a little personal because you're right, it's your journal and you shouldn't have to hold back on things like this. We will keep you guys in our prayers.
If you have a "mommy feeling" then you need to do something about that feeling. We get these for a reason! Don't be afraid to be a freaked out Mom because that is allowed. Ask lots of questions and keep lots of notes. Keep a list of symptoms and make sure to mention them all. It might freak you out but have you googgled the symptoms? You never know...
I am so sorry that she is not at her 100% that is so hard because we all just want our kids to be happy and healthy. Hope you can get some answers and quick!
As for the baby train.... I feel your pain. We too have been trying since November and nothing but I just have not gone to a doctor yet. I am afraid of answers.... Kinda dumb I know. Have you have Jason give you a blessing? It might help a ton and give you some comfort too. I hope things work out and I am thinking of you!
Um...YIKES, Sara!! When it rains it pours. I hope everything works out, that you hear good news about you and little Tessa! Poor thing. Grant had bursitis a couple of years ago (from leaning his elbow on a desk while he read books) and he said it was the worst pain he'd ever felt. But it was gone after the antibiotic. I hope Tessa doesn't have anything more serious (like RA) but I think you're doing the right thing by keeping track of everything. You guys will be in our prayers! Good luck!
I am so sorry for your struggles. I know that babies come when they are supposed to. It is never easy to hear or to go through. I relate and I am so sorry! Little Tessa will be in my prayers :).
Oh my goodness, I had no idea you were going through all of this. I'm so sorry.
Post a Comment