Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Understanding Trials

Last Wednesday (May 11th) as I watched Jordyn leave in a helicopter my heart was breaking. I wondered how long it would take us to get to her. I wondered how sick she really was. I wondered how much money all of this was going to cost. I wondered if she was scared, if she would remember anything, how soon she would get better. Mostly, I wondered why I wasn't as scared as I thought I should be. I was nervous and worried and anxious...but I was also calm somehow. It was overwhelming, this feeling of comfort. I knew everything was going to be okay.

Each day in the hospital was full of a million different emotions. Sometimes I was mad, and sometimes I took that anger out on Jason. I cried. I was tired. I wanted to take Jordyn's place. Here she is with one of the doctors.

After 5 nights in the PICU we finally got moved to the CMU (Children's Medical Unit). The entire day I was smiling. Jason and I went to grab dinner and I was so happy. It was a great big step in the right direction. We knew the end was near. It was a nice feeling. And yet, I often thought about all of those kids in the hospital who didn't know when they were leaving. I felt so lucky, and again, I felt that comforting peace.Time flew. Jordyn started feeling so much better. Daddy surprised her with new jammies.Jordyn had visitors. Her friend, Ryann, came up. Jordyn loved it!And finally she got to see Tessa. They were so cute together. I was happy watching them play and tease each other. And then today, they let us come home.I love this picture. She looks so happy, and healthy.We only had a "baby car seat" in the car...which she is too big for, but it worked out great. Driving away from that place was awesome!I'm not exactly sure why our little family had to experience all of this. I know that we've grown and changed and learned new things about ourselves. I fell more in love with Jason. He was calm and strong. He comforted me in the hard times and kept me from exploding more than once. I learned more about myself. I felt a deeper love and appreciation for motherhood. I'm not sure what I would do without my beautiful little girls. My testimony grew. I have never felt so much peace, comfort, and love. I mean, I knew that the Savior loved me...and my family, but I didn't know how much. Maybe I still don't. I just know that trials help us grow. They bring us closer together. They push us to be better people...more compassionate, more grateful, more understanding, more kind, more humble. Everyday we change. Trials help us become the people that our Heavenly Father needs us to be.

12 comments:

Katy said...

So glad you're home! Thanks for sharing this post. It's good to see Jordyn looking healthy again.

r said...

I'm so glad she's home again! She looks good. You are a pretty inspiring person to find so much positive in such an unpleasant situation, Sara!

Taffy said...

Nice post, Sara! Thanks for the reminder of the importance of family and trials.
What a blessing to have the feeling of peace you did!
I'm glad everyone's home!

Melissa said...

So glad things are going better!

Little Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe said...

It was so great to read your blog. We have been thinking about and praying for your family. I am so glad Jordyn got to come home. I think the blessing of peace is one of the best gifts Heavenly Father gives us. You have a beautiful family!

Stefanie said...

Thanks for posting my dear friend!!! I'm so grateful everything worked out. It's amazing how in times of trial we cling to the Savior and remember again that he loves us. He loves us even when we're not going through crappy things, but it's hard to remember.

Whitney said...

Yay. So glad she is home as well. thanks for sharing! Hope all continues to go well with her!!!

Diana and Fam said...

I am so glad that things ended the way they did. I hate trails too but know that they make us stronger. Hooray for being home!!

Kira Dee said...

Awesome post! I'm glad you guys are home and doing well! :)

Kirsten said...

Holy Cow. You have had a terrible week or two. I am so sorry to hear how challenging things have been and so glad that Jordan and everybody is feeling better. You have a wise and thoughtful attitude about it all. She's lucky to have you as her mom!

Jessica Havican said...

I am so happy to hear that Jordyn is at home and healthy! Thank you for sharing this post. It can be hard to see the rainbow when life is stormy and full of trials, but you did great! You are a strong woman and great mom!

Carolina said...

Me alegro mucho saber que Jordyn esta en casa y mucho mejor!!! Un gran abrazo amiga!:D