Monday, September 7, 2009


Do you ever wonder where the time has gone? I do...Sometimes, at the end of the day, I just sit on the couch wondering if I even accomplished anything while the hours ticked away. But then, there is the other side, when I wonder if the day will ever end. My thoughts just keep repeating..."please let Jason come home soon".

My birthday is coming up. I hate them! It seems like they come faster each year. I'm not the type of person who looks back and says, "Look what I did!" More often it's, "If I only would have..." I try to be positive, but that's just not one of my qualities. I'm very quick to judge, especially when it comes to my life, and the things I do.

I wish I didn't feel like I was disappointing those around me. I wish I could be content with the hours and minutes. After all, time never stops, and shouldn't we "live in the moment"? I'm not very good at that. I'm a planner. The truth is, I've already started planning for Christmas. It seems I feel most comfortable when I'm one step ahead on the calendar...but then, in all of myText Color planning, what am I missing?

Do I let holidays, vacations, and birthdays rule my mental state? Probably. Do I need to change? Yep. I really wish I could have a balance. Most of these stupid thoughts of mine are coming from the looming date of September 15th. If I could just skip it....Ugh! (I will write about all my junky birthdays another day.)

So, I'm in a funk...A add to the blog, enjoy the weekend, clean your house funk. I just don't want to do anything. Good thing the weekend is over. I have a few days to dust off, stretch out, and get going again. Now...where do I begin?


Joy said...

I think we all feel that that at one time or another.

Valerie said...

What do you mean what have you accomplished. Let's see last year you brought a child into this world. A true miracle. You did the same thing the year before. You have provided a loving home for those to girls. Regardless if it was always clean it was still a loving home which is what is most important to them. This is a major accomplishment that you should always be proud of!

Jessica Havican said...

I know what you mean about birthdays. i don't mind helping other people celebrate their birthdays, but most of the time I hate celebrating mine. I've had too many disappointing and awful things happen to me on my birthday. I don't like a big fuss. I would rather go out to dinner with my husband a couple of close friends and just enjoy their company.

It's hard to live in the moment and just be content with what you have now or what is going on right now. I am the same way. Now question is, how do we change that and enjoy every day to it's fullest. Let me know if you find the secret.

Hope your birthday goes well despite your feelings on it. :-)

Amber said...

I know how you feel about the birthday coming up... I felt the same. You can do what I did and go bungee jumping! I hope you have a happy birthday!