Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Today I'm Mad At . . .

. . . ME!

Jordyn is STILL sick. In fact, today she is worse. And actually, I've never seen her like this before. Except maybe way back when she was sick with Foot and Mouth disease.

So, we had the gross eye stuff going on for a couple of days. She hasn't left the couch for three (3) days. (That's a long time for a little kid to sit.) She complains about her stomach hurting. She sometimes says that her head hurts. Tonight she had a fever (101.8) and she was totally out of it. For the last week or so she's had some "girl problems." I'm not sure what is related, or if anything is related at all....The fact is She. Is. Sick.

I took her to the doctor today, and he made me feel TERRIBLE! He said, "Well come on Mom. What took you so long to bring her in? Runny noses go away on their own. "Girl problems" do not." I was feeling terrible. Really.

Then tonight I went to a primary meeting and left the girls with my Mom. I thought about staying home, missing the meeting, keeping the girls home. I Should Have Listened! Jordyn called me part way through my meeting crying that she didn't feel good, wanted her mommy, and just wanted to go home. UGH!

My Dad and Jason gave her a blessing tonight. (Oh, I'm so grateful for the Priesthood!) She's sleeping now. Her fever is down a little. Tomorrow will be better.

And hopefully I won't be so mad at myself for being such an awful mother.


Katy said...

Oh I'm so sorry! Poor little Jordyn and poor you. It's always so hard to decide when to go in to the doctor. And about the meeting, that was a lose lose. You would have felt guilty either way.

You're a great mom--don't beat yourself up over this. Your girls love you and you're giving them everything you can.

I'd be glad to watch Tessa today if you want some rest for you and Jordyn. Call me.

Diana and Fam said...

First off...don't be so hard on yourself. That doctor was out of line when he said that. I can't tell you how many times I rushed my kids to the doctor just to be told that nothing was wrong so next time I don't take them in and there is actually something wrong. We can only do the best that we can and our Mother's instinct is not always running right (at least in my case). Last month I finally took Ollie to the doctor because I couldn't get rid or his diaper rash...turns out he had a REALLY bad yeast infection! I had made us both suffer through that for a month and a half before I took him in. I hope things go better for you!

Jessica Havican said...

I agree with the comments that were said. No one is perfect and I'm sure you did your best. YOu are a wonderful mommy!

sisterwendy said...

Every mom has done what you did- wait to take your kids to the DR because you don't want to take them and have the DR to say, "nothing I can do, it's gotta run its course". Good thing about kids is that they are a forgiving sort :) She'll soon forget all about this and you'll be the one to carry the guilt for years :) jk- oxxoxoxoxoo